Tuesday, May 26, 2009
It's 6:47 a.m. here in New York. Sunday was okay. Got up at 10 a.m. and got my son bathed & dressed. I bathed & dressed and we went to Sunday school. I had a can of Pineapple slices in their own juice for brunch. Church service started at 1:30 p.m. The service finished at about 4:30 p.m. Afterwards, they were selling food to raise funds for the Christian Children's Parade. Our church's children will have their own float at the parade. I bought food for my mom, fiance, son & myself. It was yummy, but fattening. The food consisted of a fried cornmeal cake topped with ground beef, a slice of boiled egg, shredded cheddar & mozarella cheese and sour cream. As soon as I got home, I purged. I didn't plan to do it, but my stomach can't handle certain things like before. I didn't cook, 'cause there was plenty of leftovers in the fridge. Got up on Monday, and weighed myself. I was happy to see that I had lost another 2 lbs. So far, I've lost a total of 26 lbs. I've been doing some serious restricting & kept the purging to a minimum. With the warm weather, it's been easier to get some form of exercise done. Yesterday, I had no breakfast & no lunch. Had a cup of black coffee w/sugar substitute when I awoke. My fiance & I took my son to the park. He loves to ride his bike! I was walking alongside my son while he rode and a little girl on her bike slammed into my legs. I mean she hit me full force, almost knocked me to my knees. I was upset, but did not scream at the kid. She looked to be about 5 or 6 yrs. old. When I walked back to our bench, I realized that the little girl was with her parents sitting on the other end of the same bench. I recognized her & the bike. I asked the lady if that was her daughter and she said yes. Then I proceeded to tell her nicely that she should watch her daughter 'cause she crashed her bike into me. I showed her my bruised legs. The mother said nothing, did not even apologize. Another lady next to me was saying how parents don't watch their kids. And the next thing I knew, the little girl & her parents had left. Nowadays, you can't go to a park & just let your kids loose. It is not safe. Went home & had a bit of an argument with my mom. She had called my sister on Sunday night. She needed her to pay a bill for her through the internet. My sister did not answer the phone. (my sister had fallen asleep on her couch) So, yesterday I called my sister to let her know that my mom needed that favor. She called my mom & said to her, "oh, you can call me when you need a favor, but not to apologize." My mom told her "if you're gonna start on me again, then we might as well not even talk". So, they both hung up their phones. My mom was telling me this when I came from the park. And she says to me, "can you believe that she wants an apology, after the way that she offended me?" I said, " but ma, you were the one who started screaming first. All she said to you was that this house is dirty & it's true". My mother got mad at me for siding with my sister and left all upset to run an errand. She bumped into my fiance downstairs & complained to him about the situation. He told her that the situation was between the 3 of us & that he was not getting involved. I started to make dinner, ate a low-fat cereal & fruit bar(140 cals.). I cooked baked brown rice, pink beans in sauce and steamed chicken legs. Helped my son with his homework. Then at about 11:35 p.m., I started to put the leftover food away & my mom decides to heat some coffee up on the stove. I just blew up at her 'cause she's been doing this to me lately. She is sooo annoying! I told her" why do you decide to do this, when I am trying to clean up in the kitchen? You couldn't do it before I came or after I've finished." I said" Look heat up your coffee & let me know when you're done" And she said "No, you finish up first & I'll heat up the coffee later" I told her " I know that this is your kitchen, but you've been doing this to me lately & it's getting on my nerves". OMG!!! I feel so emotionally tired from all the arguing that has been going on. I'm gonna try my best to save money because I cannot deal with the whole situation anymore. I have to get out of her apartment before she makes me lose my mind or gives me an ulcer from all the stress!!! I love my mother but it's impossible to live with her. I went to my room and got on my computer. Checked my e-mails that have been piling up. Ever since I have been posting here & reading the blogs, I've not read my e-mails. LOL. I want to thank all of you who read my blog & leave comments. Jena, I've made goals for my ideal weight & been able to reach that weight & mantain it. I don't intend to weigh as low as some of you. I am big-boned & at 150 lbs. everyone said that I was too slim. But that is my goal weight. I also want to thank Mellon and Bryana for their comments & advice. I know that I can do this. It was just a matter of getting into the correct mind-set. I want to get slim, but not sick. Today, I will buy some vitamins & go shopping for fruits & vegetables. Good luck to you all!!!