Rollercoaster Ride

It's 4:17 am, early Thursday morning, here in New York. I had broken up with the bf, last Tuesday. We made up on Friday, early morning. Went to my sister's Bridal Shower on Friday evening. It was at church and several ladies commented on my weight loss. Some, had not seen me for a few weeks. They were surprised about how much weight I had lost. I had not heard from my "Special Friend", for a few days. I bumped into him on Facebook, on Sunday afternoon. I called "P", and we spoke for a long time. Then my mother came home from church. We finished our phone conversation and started to text each other. He wanted to see me & I wanted to see him. I said that I would try my best to make up an excuse to get away from the apt. I did not sleep at all on Sunday night. In the morning, I got my son off to school. I wanted to see my Special Friend, but panicked about having him see my body. I weigh 190 lbs. I've lost 60 lbs, but do not feel cute. I said to myself "Fuck it, I don't hear him complaining. He just loves to grab at me." Then I started to get myself ready. Took a shower, shaved my legs and underarms. Applied sweet-smelling lotion all my body and legs. I have a cute, sexy short negligee that I had bought about 6 weeeks ago,but never used. I took it out of my drawer and put it in a black plastic bag. Got dressed in a black skirt and low-cut blouse. I told the bf, that I was going to the clinic, to speak with my Dr. That was just my excuse to get out of the apt. As soon as I was outside, I called my "Special Friend" and told him that I had managed to get out and that I wanted to see him. He said that he was on the highway and would pick me up. I told him where to meet me. I went to the clinic, left a mesage for my Dr. to call me. Then I went to the bathroom and removed my panties and placed them in a bag that I had. My "Special Friend" had told me to not wear panties. I then walked to our meeting spot and he was there in his truck. I got in and he looked happy and held my hand while he drove. He has a little apt in Long Island and was taking me there. We got there and were talking then started kissing and hugging. I excused myself to the bathroom and put on my negligee. He looked happy with what he saw. W e then laid on his bed kissing. I felt so comfortable with him. It was all great! He is a considerate and generous lover. He said to me "So now we're secret Lovers" And I said "Yes". I don't regret it one bit and hope that I never will. His diabetes started acting up and he had no medication with him. We cuddled and he held me like he never wanted to let go! We used the bathroom separately, got dressed and then got back in his truck. He said that he wants us to meet at his apt., at least once per week. He knows that I have to be careful and can't get away too often. He even left a job that he was going to, just to be with me. He has his own busines and does home repairs. Yesterday, I noticed that he was on Facebook chat and I said hi to him & he ignored me. He never does that to me. Then when I went to my list of friends, I could not find his name. Someone removed me from his Facebook page. It was most likely his "room-mate". I hate the bitch. They're just friends with benefits, but now that she knows about me, she feels threatened. She knows that he has real feelings for me. I will wait til he contacts me. I know that he will text or call me. I got on MySpace and got my own page. I went to my "Special Friend's" page on MySpace and put in a friend request. I have to reach him somehow. I am not giving up on him like I did 18 yrs ago. Good Luck to all of you who, like me, are still struggling against the pounds. We can do it!!!