Monday, June 8, 2009
My Mother Is Driving Me Mad !!!!
It's 3:53 a.m. and I am still so freaking mad about what happened yesterday evening! Where shall I start? Okay, I moved in with my mom & youngest sister (30 yrs), last summer. Along with my fiance & my 8 yr old son. So my mother baby-sits my now 4 yr old nephew. She told me that she would cook Mon-Thurs, and I would cook during the weekends. Fine with me. Except that when my sister would not bring her son over, my mother would not cook even if it was her assigned day. So I would buy food and cook & wash dishes and clean the kitchen at end of night. This past wednesday she tells me that my sister would bring her son over the next day, but she & her husband would be leaving right away & not eat at my mother's apt. This is my mother's way of telling me that she would NOT be cooking on thursday and that my turn for cooking would begin 1 day earlier. My sister left for vacation on friday and will not be bringing her son over to my mother's place til June 16. I told my fiance, "my mother better not think that I'm gonna spend my money buying food & cooking for everyone for 12 straight days!" So, I cooked on thursday, friday, saturday & sunday. I get no help from absolutely anyone. On sunday, when my mother came from church at around 5 p.m., she was accompanied by my cousin. He's gotten into the habit of dropping by a couple of times during the week & eating at my mother's too. He's about 43 yrs old and lives with his mother, due to the fact that he had a drug problem. But now he's found religion, but no job, so he's mooching of whomever he can. So when they were eating, I told my mother, "oh I'm not cooking tomorrow, you & my sister can cook for the next couple of days". Well of course, she had a problem with that and asks why can't my fiance cook too. He cooked one time,but she's very controlling & doesn't let others cook in peace. She likes to hover over people and tell them how to do things. So now, he refuses to cook ever again. Can't say that I blame him. So I asked her what's the problem with her & my sister cooking. And she mumbled some lame excuse & basically said that she doesn't have to cook. My sister just graduated university last week & hasn't worked since December. My cousin had to butt in & say why can't I just cook for me & my fiance & son. I told him about the deal that my mother had made with me about our assigned days for cooking. I told him it's not fair that everyone can eat when I buy, cook the food & do clean-up, but they can't do the same in return. I give money just like my sister, so why can't she cook for everyone like I do. I help pay the electric bill, too. When it's my turn to cook, if there is no oil or rice or seasonings, I buy them. So my cousin just shook his head & told me to calm down. He knows that it's not fair, but won't go against my mother, 'cause she just bought him a tiny laptop about 2 wks. ago. So now he has to kiss her ass. Basically, my mother said that she's NOT cooking, she'll eat whatever is in the fridge or cupboards. But when my sister returns from vacation, she'll cook for them 'cause my sister brings her rice, beans, meat and food from when she goes grocery shopping for her own household. She's always treated this sister of mine better than the rest of us! Yet she denies it. I thought that this bullshit would be over and done with. I feel so disappointed and truly heartsick!!! I feel like I will never be good enough for my mother. I hate the way she makes me feel. I regret a million times ever deciding to move into her home. I'm gonna talk with my best friend's mom. Her mom has a house close by and rents out rooms. I feel so trapped. Why are some mothers such Bitches with their own offspring??? For a long time, I even doubted my own mother's love for me. She is the reason that I tried to kill myself back in November of 2000. I will never be able to understand her. I have to leave her house soon before I start hating her or do/say something that I will really regret!!! So, for now, I'm not doing any cooking, just simple preparation of food for fiance & my son. On the other hand, this will do wonders for my diet. Yesterday and today I just had coffee, tea, fruit and a plate of veggies for dinner. I've lost a total of 31 lbs., since March. I am still ashamed to post my weight, but I promise that I will write it in my blog very soon. Hopefully, that will be in less than 2 weeks. Be strong & think thin. Oh, I just discovered that there is someone else with a blog that has the same name as mine. The only difference that I could see is that she leaves a space between the words Hungry and Hippo.( Hungry-Hippo) I write mine, (HungryHippo) I hope that no one is confused by this. I'm thinking of changing the name of my blog. Any of you know how I would go about doing that?